Author Archives: daisymaeiuseyourwifi

Wake up in the morning
And there you are,
Nestled in my brain,
Warm and sleeping.
Just where I left you
The night before,
Settled into the blankets of my mind.

And in waking hours, a twirl of you
Dances across the folds,
Drags the heart to attention,
And lets rivers run red,
Pounding in my veins,
Driving every step forward.

Even at your most invisible,
You lie in my chest,
A lingering hug,
Holding me close in the dark.
And all the body feels
Is content.

But it’s when you crawl in the fabric,
Burrow yourself deep,
Weave your fingers in mine,
That’s where I want to stay.
To sleep, to love, to dream.

Silence is a killer
Because it brings out everything you fear
Everything that haunts you
Everything you wish you weren’t.
I will always take the noise.

Sometimes that silence brings clarity,
All the rabble of sound disappears,
Leaving only the focus in front of you.
The clear skies ahead are welcome,
Giving you a path to freedom.

But mainly it hunts you,
Stalking your peace and calm,
Whispering reminders of chaos
And threats of abandon.
Pursuing you in a place of no sight,
Panic and heartbeat of blindness
Settles into your bones and hugs tight.

And when it breaks it shatters,
As if the stalk never existed.
Sound kisses my face
And warms me to the core,
As if to say it never left,
Would never leave me again.

Silence surely isn’t lurking
And waiting again for its turn.

Sunlight cascades down the trees,
Fighting for position on my face.
Leaves and branches stretch toward blue,
Making more space still.
The morning sounds of life,
Water passing in its carved path,
Birds diving to ground
Chirping whistles of the wood
As they swerve on the wind.

I find footing on the elevation,
Dig my heels into the trail,
Climbing ever higher towards light.
Breathing air deeply and desperately,
Every muscle stretching in ecstasy
As I chase peace down the path.

Toes tapping on roots,
Air finding me whole,
I leave nature waiting behind me
Holding its breath for my return.

It takes mere minutes to say on the page
What I cannot say out loud to the world.

Paper is much more responsive
To the inner drive of my heart
Than the seemingly attentive
Ears of another

And yet I am mute to the paper
Just as much to the ear

For fear of being too truthful
To myself.

I could talk with you forever,
But it gets shorter all the time.
And I slowly let this idea go,
This thing that haunts my dreams.
I miss you when you’re gone
But you’re never really here.
This thing is so temporary,
Yet I can’t bring myself to let it be.
I want you to see in me
What I see in you,
But I know it’s impossible.
Our souls aren’t written the same way.
And maybe I’ll just leave you,
Up on this precarious edge of my heart.
And if you stay,
Despite everything meant to separate,
Perhaps I won’t feel so silly after all.
But I know, unfortunately,
I’m chasing an idea…
It’s not you that makes me run.

If I was an artist,
I’d paint you in a picture.
Capture all your beauty in acrylic,
Place a permanence upon your face,
Color and life always staring back at me.

If I was a storyteller,
I’d make you immortal,
A legend, a hero.
I would shout from the rooftops,
Commit you to folklore,
Make your memory
Outlast even those who came before you.

If I was a musician,
I’d write you a masterpiece.
Your heart the beating rhythm,
Your voice breathing melody in every word.
A song everyone knows,
Sung lifetimes after we’ve expired.

But all I am is a writer,
And all I have for you
Is this pen, these words.
You’ll live forever in my poetry,
Just as you’ll live forever in my soul.

Clouds of white and pink
Floating in blue sky
Looking down to the beauty of earth.
They dip and bend,
Slink and fly
Layers of vapor
Softly traveling to some other place.

The breeze catches me peaceful,
Holding my face in its hands,
Keeping me planted on the ground,
Not daring to move
So it won’t let go.
And the senses sigh,
Blissful, undaunted breath.

I’m waiting for dark,
For color to vanish,
For the view to give way
To night black and twinkling stars,
My skin on fire in anticipation.

Startle awake from dreams
The darkness shocks my senses,
Desperate to return to the light.
It was warm there, happy.
I have no idea how to get back.

The clouds that surrounded my head
Have cleared the atmosphere,
Nothing but clarity staring me in the face.
I haven’t been real for a minute,
Floating in some suspended existence.

Clinging to the want of unconsciousness,
Eyes closed in prayer for sleep to come,
My soul runs back for comfort,
For the happy place I created from nothing.
But my eyes stay open, knowing, realistic.

And it will always be a constant battle.
A war between head and heart,
A scuffle of knowledge and dreams.
Of knowing what I want,
But knowing it may never be achieved.

I want a love I don’t have to pay for.
I want a love that is there because I am.
I want a love that asks nothing.
I want a love that casts me in its net.
I want a love that holds my space.

But love is a transaction.
An exchange.
Something for something.
It is my grace, my patience, my trust,
For your time, your attention, your heart.
It is my energy, my pride, my soul,
For your apathy, your silence, your absence

I want a love I don’t have to call.
I want a love that follows my heart.
I want a love that takes my hand.
I want a love with focus.
I want a love unencumbered by past.

And someday it will be
An exchange within myself.
My anxiety, my worry, my instability,
For my confidence, my drive, my strength.
My self-loathing, my shame, my failures,
For my light, my dark, my acceptance.
This is where I find my love.

I’ve burrowed in the soil so long
That breaking the surface feels foreign.
I’ve never felt the sun on my petals,
Drank the rain through my roots,
Gulped a breath of air from the sky.
I’m afraid of stretching my stems
Only to be beat back down to the dirt,
Like every other time I tried to grow.