Handcuffs

I’m in a trap of my own making

Bound in a prison,

Arms and legs jumbled in shackles

Invented by myself,

Locked of my own volition.

Were there ever keys

Or did I forget to imagine them?

 

I sit in the dark

Because that’s where I like it

I know the expectations

And they’re always the worst.

So when the light comes

It’s even warmer,

So when the things are good

I’m more grateful.

I’ll never disappoint myself

If I never want more in the first place.

 

Someday I won’t do this

Won’t want to lock myself away,

Won’t make bad my default

And good my surprise.

Someday I will just be good

Because I am good, the end.

Because I want to believe it, so bad.